"It's okay not to be okay."

God has put me through so many tests lately.

One thing I knew in my mind but learned for real in my heart (and still am) from all this is a long list to be honest.

After meeting God, He blessed me with so much. The perfect friends, the most peaceful and loving family, a world where in my eyes there was no such thing as suffering. Long story short, I think He showed me a little bit of heaven.

But from all this, I became blinded. I became prideful feeling like my input was always needed and that I was the most wise and righteous amongst my friends so therefore I HAD to be the one who had to have it altogether and receiving advice was unheard of because I was just so “perfect.”

And to add to it, I turned a blind eye to the suffering in the world, from local to international.

I was just a selfish Christian who only wanted to save myself and MY happiness and if someone put any dent into that, they were “let go” of.

But what I’ve learned is that God tests you in the places where you are most comfortable. And in my case, that was my youth group and friends.

And from all this…

I learned what it really meant when in the Our Father we pray “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

I learned that holding a grudge or any hate will only kill you. Only you.

I learned that my faith should be in God alone and not in man.

I learned what it really meant that I had no right to judge another human being.

I learned to love everyone equally and to forgive easily.

I learned that to find myself, I had to find Him.

I learned that I must search and yearn for God Himself, not God’s blessings.

From all this I’m still learning these lessons and I will always be learning. Anyway, good night :) and God bless!

“It’s okay not to be okay.”