...

I need to move on. It's like this hate transfers from one of them to the next. It's constantly moving, constantly sneaking. It brings up all the things they didn't do, all the things they did do, all the things they said and didn't, all the things I would have normally overlooked on any other person.

Clearly, this healing process will take a bit more time.

I guess part of me just still can't get over the fact that they'll NEVER understand how much pain I felt.

They just can't understand. I don't think they ever will, even after telling them I hated them they still couldn't even bare to wonder or ask how a "summer usual" friend that they always say "you inspire me" to could go as low as to confront them bluntly and say "I hate you."

I guess that's why, it's just trying to get over that fact.

But..... maybe this is how God feels to us.... but he just keeps forgiving.

But He knows better, He's God... maybe that's my pride or hate talking.

Sorry God, it just hurts a lot. Please help me heal. This is tiring.

Really tiring.