Sometimes I think about my past friendships that failed or faded away for their ambiguous reasons. There never really was an official goodbye, or a mutual understanding that both parties were growing up, and growing in separate ways.

It's that phase of preteen to teenage years that's filled with an equal amount of affirming friendships and awkward ones, and how each one plays out is usually a surprise born out of our lessons to not expect too much of others and to stay true to ourselves.

They always say that on our journey through life people will come and go, but every person we meet is there for a reason. I guess if we do roll along with the universe and the idea of destiny and fate, I find it a bit melancholic that there are people we meet who are only there to teach us a lesson. And then after we have met, laughed and held on fast, suddenly we'd have to move on.

Maybe it's the late night honesty of my observations, or the ambivalent nostalgia nagging at my heart when I look back at past summer days and of old friends who've come and gone. But whatever it is, I like to think it's just because I have a big heart and wanted to care genuinely for all the people I met, but obviously I couldn't keep up with every person in my life and so... some just fell away. I guess an analogy would be like scooping up a handful of pebbles and as you walk towards that bucket where you know they will be secure, some just fall out of your hands and out of your control before you get there because that's just how the world goes round.

Although, I guess you could say I never did stop caring about them, and by them I mean my old friends. Even if our paths split through means of a failing or differing of faith, or a change in mindset and choice of lifestyle, or a bittersweet wave goodbye as they moved half way across the world away.. I never really did stop caring.

But anyway, growing up is new to me, and much of these experiences and feelings I've yearned for and missed dearly aren't new to the world and all its "simply complicated" and "complicatedly simple" roads and paths. I guess what I'm hoping for is just for an open heart and mind to the new foundations, experiences and friendships that God will be placing into my life. And to keep walking forward, while smelling the roses on the way and always greeting with a smile and a wave to those who happen to join me as I continue to walk on this journey called life.

Here's to ambiguity. And to all the mysteries of life.

God bless

"Once you meet someone, you never really forget them." -Spirited Away

P.S. All that aside.. God willing, let's meet again, guys! Let's meet again. =]