Blessed with awesome friends and family but guilt and sin run my personal life. Who am I to be given so much? Who am I to question His blessings and ways though?

Life is a paradox of good and evil, heaven and hell, God and the enemy. It's honestly an endless battlefield in my soul, heart, mind and body.

It hurts so much. But at the same time it's really beautiful.

I dunno, I'm extremely depressed but at the same time I've never known such peace and happiness.

But the emotional stress is a lot. I think it's really starting to take a toll on my mental health. And so at the end of the day, it still is a battle for, literally, the love of God, as well as the emptying of my "wicked ways." It's not about balance, or karma or yin and yang. It's a purification of evil and the battle that ensues. It's not a power struggle between equal forces of good and evil. The good side has already won. It's just a painful love story. And as harsh as it sounds: some end happily, but more than often they end sadly. Such is the choice of humanity.

And again though, back into it, it's an endless war.

A crazy, horror, love story.