Even in my lowest, praying and sinning right after, even wanting to just get away from this faith, even wanting to just deny it, leave everything and willingly plunge into a "life" without God...
I just can't deny Him. I can't deny that He's not there. I can't deny that He loves me.
Now I understand that I don't understand His sacrifice, His fury, His heaven, or His unconditional love, or even the hell that was originally created for beings much more stronger and smarter than me, but I know this: I cannot deny Him. I cannot deny His love.
Try as I might, and for once without emotion, and in all rationality.. I just can't deny God. He's real. He is very real. It just makes sense.
And all He asks is that I repent, continue to pray, and to love and forgive as He has loved and forgiven me.
I don't understand nor have the knowledge to understand even 1% of Him, but all He asks for is for faith.
Faith in God first, and everything else, from knowledge and wisdom to joy and love, will fall into place.
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." -Matthew 17:20
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