I feel like the growing up is getting to me. I started doing that "clean your friends list/following list" thing.

I dunno why I feel so numb about a lot of things. Maybe it's just change. I left PT, and now I'm "leaving" YFC. And even though I'm just a member now, I feel like something is telling me to hold back from going to events for awhile.

I just feel like I'm falling out of everything and now my life is sort of crying from the sudden realization of how much empty and free space there is now.

It was my choice.

I can't even tell now what exactly is holding me back. Fear? Pride? The numbness? The constant nagging to do more and achieve more with my life? What is it?

...

Gosh, I really need my friends right now. I feel sort of at a lost.

I really need someone to talk to.

I guess I should start though at the foundation.

Pray.