Life is full of sins and forgiveness, beauty and ugliness, and love and hate.

With all these forces at work tearing at me and making me cry from joy, to sadness, to deep rage and hate, to brokenness and redemption, I honestly feel emotionally wasted a lot of the time.

I don't know what to feel sometimes and man does it feel awkward.

And I just feel guilty because I don't feel the feelings I feel I should feel for Him.

It's all very confusing. But there are constants in my life as well. And I guess living like this with things moving and things not moving, things changing and things not changing, I honestly just don't really know what to do with myself half the time.

I just feel like a hypocrite doing anything or not doing anything at all half the time.