When I think about the possibility of love with a special woman, I can't help but feel so selfish. I feel like all I'm asking is what I want, instead of what I could do for her or what she wants. Or what we could do together for our children.

I'm scared of the idea of marriage sometimes, but I'm also scared of the idea of priesthood.

The way I look at it, and the more I think about it, I think I'm just scared of being responsible for big things.

A priest? A father? I'm so focused on sustaining my own life that I've never learned what it's like to chase a girl, or support another person. Maybe experience is the right word.

I feel shallow to the outside world, but too deep on what's going on inside. I really don't know where God is taking me.

My strong desires either point to an obvious path, or a path that must be avoided because I've lost something long ago.

Hmm

It's 2:54 AM. I just wanna sleep haha.